I was digging through Delicious, searching for articles on simplicity when I stumbled on this article at Think Simple Now. In it, Tina, lays out several concepts to consider when thinking of a simple lifestyle and the joys that such a lifestyle can bring to you. The article struck a cord with me.
One concept that Tina touched on was the idea of freeing your space and, by corollary, your mind. She writes:
Free Your Space – When we are reminded of something we own but never use, we can impose self-inflicted guilt for leaving it unused. For example, my mother owns several exercise machines which are rarely used. Each time she sees them, she forces herself to feel guilty. Her guilt eats away at her inner, mental space. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world. By cleaning out and simplifying our outer space, our inner space will open up like a flower.
When I think about, guilty is really present through the life-cycle of any purchase. For example, I may want a particular electronic toy. I know you don’t need it, of course, and I know that the money could be better allocated. Guilt drives me, however. Initially, I may feel guilt because of my refusal or hesitation in not buying the toy. After all, I know I work hard and I deserve this toy. Besides, in the grand scheme of things, a few hundred dollars here or there is not going to make a difference. Not to mention that there are people who make a lot less who live a lot higher on the hog. I go for it!
I’m man enough to admit that the purchase of a new toy, especially a big-ticket item, is a near ecstatic event. The more it costs the better. I want a cart full of boxes. I want everyone to see me proudly carry my new conquest to the check-out. I want the people behind me to gasp is awe when the ticket is rang up. Finally, I want to hear the cool click of my credit card being set on the counter and the gentle whispering sound it makes as it slides through the machine. I love marching to the car with bags overflowing, loading my purchases into my hatchback and heading home. I revel in sitting in my chair with the new, virgin boxes laid out on the floor before me. They are beautiful. To me, heaven will smell like Styrofoam and plastic wrap. Like all bliss, however, this too must end and normally does so almost immediately.
The second stage of guilt, buyer’s remorse, is horrible. This is where I feel like a complete ass for dropping several hundred dollars on a new toy that I probably won’t even use and most certainly don’t need. Honestly, this is the point where I normally return the item I bought in complete shame or sell it online taking a loss.
Sometimes, racked with guilt, a buy something to make myself feel better.
How can we short-circuit this process. How can we avoid this guilt cycle?
- Agree with your emotional side but leave the logic to the logical side. I frequently tell my emotional side that it’s right and I do deserve a new toy. Just because I deserve it, though, doesn’t necessarily mean I should get it. If I got everything I deserved, I would be married to Zac Efron and Emile Hirschand worshiped as a god. But, you know what? I’m not…and I am still surviving. Recognizing that you deserve something, whatever that something may be, is an entirely different thought process from actually going out and trying to acquire that which you deserve. They are not linked!
- If you get a high from buying objects, you are going to miss that. It sounds crazy – hell, it is crazy…and sick…and sad – but I genuinely feel good about myself when I buy expensive things. I miss feeling that way. I don’t miss the attendant feelings of guilt, however. I try to replace the high you get from shopping with something else. I go for a walk, to the zoo or to a museum. I go to a friends house for a cheap movie night. I do something, anything, other than buying that item.
- Recognize the silliness of entire process. While humans think they are the culmination of history, we are really just slightly clever, pants-wearing monkeys. Whenever I rush to the Apple Store to ogle over the newest iPhone, I remind myself of the magpies who collect shiny bits for the their nest. I know that I don’t have a need for the new iPhone so why does its shininess and blinking lights attract me? What is the difference between me and magpie in the field that I laugh at? Not so much…
Is this a fool proof plan to avoid purchasing silly things and experiencing the awful guilt that may come free with purchase? No. But, maybe by reminding yourself of the few things I outlined above, it will be easier to walk away. Over time, this will build on itself, you will miss the new toys less and less and enjoy your guilt free life more and more.
Related posts:
