So, in a moment of weakness I ordered one of those new MacBooks that I previously wrote about? Luckily, for both my standing as an anti-consumer and my pocketbook, I accidentally shipped it to my previous address in a different city. After multiple calls to Amazon and UPS, I was able to rescind the purchase. The computer is now sitting in a warehouse somewhere, waiting to go back to Amazon. I will receive my refund and I won’t be purchasing it again.
The whole debacle really caused me to ask myself why I bought the computer in the first place, particularly after I just made it the subject of a post about consumerism. I can come up with two reasons why I bought the computer:
- I rationalized my need for the computer. I have recently moved from a two-level house into a one-bedroom apartment. I have a desktop computer and a netbook and told myself that it would be much more convenient if I could consolidate to one MacBook. I was planning on selling my two current computers and applying any money I got towards the purchase price of the new computer. I told myself this was more efficient because all of my data would be on one machine. It also made sense from living perspective because of the limited space I now have.
- It embarrases me to say so but buying the computer made me feel good. I purchased the computer late Sunday night. I am in the middle of the worst attack of allergies I have had in years. I was alone on my couch, and I knew, really knew, that I deserved that damn computer. Sliding up to my keyboard, punching in the credit card and buying that computer felt good. It is embarrassing to admit it but I am willing to bet that you know exactly how good it felt.
What I will take from this experience is how easy it is to slip up. All of us are dealing with years and years of being told that we deserve new things (even if we can’t pay for them outright). We all can rationalize bad decision and have all experienced the brief emotional high that shopping can give. No matter how much we try to break old habits and form new thought patterns, it is really, really easy to slip back into our old habits.
The moral of this post is that I fuck up now and again. You do too. That is the beauty of being human. The other beautiful thing about being human is we have the ability to recognize our mistakes and learn from them and, in learning, lessen the chances that we will fall for the same shit in the future.
Sure, I fell off the wagon. I will again – but not today.
Have you had a similar experience? Share it in the comment section.
(Photo via Gamma-Ray Productions)
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But why did buying the computer make you feel guilty for feeling good?
I feel AWESOME when I shop
I get a new top, new necklace, whatever.. I feel on top of the world.
But I am also not going back to the stores in hopes for retail therapy to blot out my life’s problems.
And I don’t buy anything just for the sake of buying something to get a high.
I only get that high when I buy something I want and really like. (Laptops included, I own 3, and my boyfriend owns 6. Yes, we are minimalists but we are also geeks.)
I think it’s a fine distinction between being happy with getting what you want, and being UNHAPPY and using retail therapy to make yourself feel better.
Thanks for the comment and pointing out a distinction that I am embarrassed to say I may have missed. There is a difference between buying something you will want and will use and feeling good about the decision that you made and using shopping as a drug to disguise your feelings or distract you from larger problems.
To be honest, rigid thought patterns are something I have struggled with in the past and am always trying to overcome. It looks like THAT may have been my mistake here as opposed to buying the computer!
your really over thinking things. I know that consumerism is a bug with a deep bite. But seriously, it’s better to buy something of good quality instead of having a millions crappy versions of it. My dad does that ,instead of buying what he needs and wants he’ll waste a million years trying to find a suitable alternative that won’t cost as much and won’t be as flashy. I felt the same way. But I had to get a mac for school, cause they won’t let us use pc cause the programs we use aren’t compatible(blah blah blah). And I don’t regret it at all. It’s given me a lot more freedom to be creative and to get my work done right. It still bugs me when I over think the “mac thing”, but seriously its just a computer and a tool for creativity. Give in. Just don’t stick those stupid mac apple stickers that comes with it on your books and shit. THAT’S lame.
LOL! Thanks for the comment AC! You are absolutely correct. I really overthink things! It’s sorta my hobby…
Like TEM pointed out above: go ahead buy want you want, but buy it for the right reasons. Don’t buy as a form a retail therapy but buy because, like you said, it is the right tool for the job and will help you get your work done in a way you like.
Don’t worry, I have had Macs for a while and have never used one of Apple stickers.
Thanks for reading!